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Volume 4 : Toronto Party Scene
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| I'm listening to a country song |
[01 Mar 2009|02:36pm] |
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music |
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"Bad Things"-Jace Everett |
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This is a landmark day. This is the day my eyes were opened to WoW.
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| I've been lovin you....but the vibe is wrong |
[10 Feb 2009|01:35pm] |
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"Love Lockdown" - Kanye West |
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I am much more likely to study if I have a nice pen in my hand. Currently that pen is a metal one with gold finish that I found in one of my classrooms. I absolutely cannot concentrate if I have a plain bic in my hand, but that metal pen has pushed me to finish my last few chapters for class :).
Going home on Friday, super excited for Benny Benassi and my friend's birthday party.
keep your love locked down
or you'll lose him...
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[21 Oct 2005|05:54pm] |
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"Stars"-Switchfoot |
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Um, apparently my password is too easy, and my journal is at high-risk of being hijacked. I know that LJ wants to protect me, but who's gonna guess the backwards secret language that Joe and I made up two years ago?
Bonfire was canceled tonight, blech. It's barely even drizzling.
Then I helped Katelyn set up decorations for Homecoming and I got free pizza. And I took videos of us with Emily's camera, and some pictures also.
I like Adam. He's adorable. I was talking to Elizabeth today and I feel Adam's arms around me and he's the only kid I know of who'd touch me without asking first so I said "Hi Adam. You can stop feeling me up now." He's pervy but it's so hard to stay mad at him because he's like a puppy.
My fingers are dusted grey and I smell of cardboard.
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[12 Oct 2005|12:47pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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"See Emily Play"-Pink Floyd |
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Well, Sean called me last night. He hit a deer with his brand new Jeep. He said it jumped out of nowhere but it's dead now and he was quite traumatized.
I was supposed to go home with Katelyn, except I didn't know where her bus was, and Emma has a MySpace, except her computer is busted and she can't add me back.
I'm baking Orange Rolls and then I'm going to watch Kill Bill.
Oh yeah, I got Relics by Pink Floyd. It's fabulous. I also ordered a "Wish you were here" t-shirt off posters.com.
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[07 Oct 2005|05:56pm] |
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 blank |
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"Belfast"-Orbital |
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The past three days I've been having blazingly awful headaches. Headaches that throb with every step I take, and medicine isn't helping. I've gone from 1 pill to 6, and other than making me feel guilty for abusing Advil, no change in the pain level.
I've been trying to figure out what may have triggered them, but so far no luck.
I'm thinking of plugging this journal but then I'd have to go back and change a lot of stuff. Or would I?
Katelyn are I are getting closer. Despite me being a royal loser, she still likes me. Which is nice. My flip-flop broke today and she fixed it up with a piece of ribbon. It worked all through the day, and I thanked her a bunch of times because without her, I would have had to go shoeless, or walk very, very slow. I also convinced her to go to Homecoming with me, so we're going as a date. (O-lala!) We're going dress shopping sometime and I need to buy my ticket now that I have an actual person to go with.
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[01 Oct 2005|09:47pm] |
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God damn I love Ryan.
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[26 Sep 2005|05:32pm] |
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"With Arms OutStretched"-Rilo Kiley |
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Well, besides failing my very first Geometry test miserably, I must admit that my life has been going very well.
Today I was amazingly social, and even made small talk with Firen, which surprised me immensely. I hate small talk, even if the person is super nice. Which is one of the many reasons my dad hates me. He wants me to make small talk with the fruits (okay that's not fair, not all of them are fruits) at his church, but what the hell do I have in common with a couple with 2.5 kids and an SUV?
Anyways, despite being jealous at lunch and tossing pretzels at pauvre Jackie, I've decided I'm getting my permit tomorrow, provided that mother dear returns from D.C. in time to take me. Man I was just thinking, if someone I didn't know personally was reading my entries, they must think I'm a giant moron.
Oh, I went on Sunday to the Native American Musuem and they have good but expensive food there. I also went to the Pro-war rally by the National Monument on accident. The high level of patriotism there was making me sick though, so I left. I had to walk through gravel so I got rocks in my shoes. Then I bought an ice cream, and I sulked. I sulked because my dad is a jackass and I wish very much that I would never have to interact with him again. It's a shame that he actually seems to miss his children when we're not around, although him feeling anything other than anger or hatred seems strange to me.
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[18 Sep 2005|07:00am] |
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"Victim of Changes"-Judas Priest |
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I just read a whole slew of Xanga comments and entries, and I must admit, I had NO FREAKING IDEA that teenagers could be so catty, so immature, and so disrespectful. Holy shit. You know when you watch COPS and there's these white trash ladies screaming their heads off? Well, that's basically what these conversations consisted of. Stuff like, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH, YOUR A FUCKING HOEBAG AND HE CHEATED ON YOU FIRST! SO GO AND DO SOMETHING LIKE...DISAPPEAR! YEAH! LIKE DIE! HAHAHAHAHAHA" It was insane. Oh yeah these people are 17 and 18 also. Older than me. And they're saying stuff I would never ever say. Maybe I'm just sheltered cause I live with all the smartypants offspring of Senator's and President's and Foreign Advisor's but geez....
Okay that's all I had to say.
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| Another day at the chocolate parade |
[17 Sep 2005|02:01pm] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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music |
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"Dance Dance"-Fall Out Boy |
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Well, things are kinda sucky right now. Cicero apparently has a girlfriend, which somewhat pisses me off but I don't know why. Emily is being extremely nice to me, which is making me suspicious. I think she's just trying to make up for ignoring me lately. She brought me OJ and three packages of Airheads yesterday, I accepted the Airheads but I gave the juice to Erik.
Then I had German, which made me sad, because Dr. Harper is leaving. We have some new lady as our teacher, but I'll miss Harper a lot. I even shook his hand after class, and told him how I much I enjoyed his teaching. It made me feel very grown up.
Erik is still hanging about, which makes things easier for Emily, cause I don't dislike her anymore, all of my negative energy is focused towards Erik now. He ended up asking (bleep bleep) to Homecoming, and I went crazy over that but I really shouldn't complain, it'll make things easier for everyone if I don't complain.
...skip to lunch, and I sat outside with Elizabeth, Katelyn, Gray, Fabio, Kelly, Meredith (wait a minute, when did Meredith show up?) and some other girl I vaguely know. Emma and Derek were having a lunch date, so they were off sitting at a different table but Emma kept trying to have conversations with Elizabeth and me even though we could barely hear her. Abe started annoying her while Derek was off getting lunch, and I tried to get him away but he didn't want to leave because he knew he was making them uncomfortable. Abe is sweet when he wants to be but the other 90% of the time he's a royal jackass.
Skip to after school, where Emily, Shanna and me met Cicero at Northpoint. We were sitting at the tables when John, a ton of girls, and a couple of other guys came to our table and started talking to us. They were looking for hookups for bud and John actually asked me if I had any, I told him I didn't and so he went off and frolicked with Webster and Pat, who has just pulled up on bikes. Then we all began smoking and Shanna gave me a dirty look for blowing smoke on her magazine. I went home at somepoint, which was when I spent the next three hours reading books and eating candy.
Tonight Kevin is supposed to call me so we can go and do something. But until 5 or so, I have to occupy myself cause he has a soccer game.
Oh, I talked to Dean on Thursday, when we had the fire drill. At first I couldn't see him, cause Adam, Cicero and Kevin had surrounded me in a sort of Alexis sandwich. But Dean-o is doing well, I told him to call me if he ever wanted to hang out, and I believe he said he wanted me to sit at his table on Black days. Maybe? I don't remember exactly what we were talking about cause I was kind of under the influence of something.
Brad, you blush very easily and it makes me laugh.
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[26 Aug 2005|04:50pm] |
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"Wake me up when september ends"-Green Day |
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Well, I need to send out a public apology to one Kevin Privott. Cause he didn't do anything.
IT WAS ALL JOE AND HIS OLDER SISTERS' FRIEND JOSEPH!
They just pinned it on Kevin cause that was the only guy friend of mine that Joe knows.
However, today some guy called me, and I missed the call. When I called back he exclaimed "Oh yeah you're Alexis, Vico wants to talk to you. HE'S SUCH A FREELOADER!"
HAHA yes!
Beach was fun. Lots of swimming and par-taying. Didn't take any pictures though. I found a super comfortable position in Jack's car but as soon as I put my head down Joe put his fat head on mine and it felt like a bowling ball. But ANYWAYS..
How much time before school starts? Blech.
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| What the fuck. |
[16 Aug 2005|12:15am] |
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 nauseated |
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Okay, some guy just called me, from a 703 number. This is how the conversation went.
"Hello?"
"Yeah, is this Alexis?"
"Yeah. Who's this?"
"This is John, I'm Kevin's friend. I'm 43 years old and I was thinking of picking you up and taking us to go get some beers, get drunk, then do it."
"Uhh...."
"Nah just playing, I'm nineteen. But seriously, Kevin says you're a big slut. So come over here, I have some beer and I can stick my stick in you."
"No...I think you have the wrong person. I'm a virgin"
"Oh shit, really? Cause Kevin gave me the impression that you had done it. Cause this is Alexis, right? Alexis Krueger? This can't be the wrong person if I know your last name, and your phone number."
"This is Alexis but as I said, I'm still a virgin."
"Well by the time the night's over you would have done it (he laughs)"
"(I laugh quietly)"
"What the fuck are you laughing at? Do I look like a fucking clown I'm not kidding, I haven't done it in two weeks I need to DOO IT. So get over here, bitch."
"No I'm busy, sorry. (I hang up)"
Kevin is SCREWED.
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[07 Aug 2005|06:27pm] |
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calm |
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"No Matter What"-Def Leppard |
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Okay, Emily slept over Friday night, and she and Elle kept me up till 4. Then, three hours later I was woken up for a three and a half hour drive to Pennsylvania, which is where for another seven hours I went white water rafting on a Level 3 river. Another hour of driving, then we stop for dinner for one hour. Another two and a half hours of driving and I arrive home at 12. Eleven hours later, I'm woken to go to Kelsey's birthday party at a water park. I swim for six hours. Now I'm home.
Shit the Doobie Brothers were playing tonight at Wolftrap, if I had known I would have gone. That would have been a lot of fun, I haven't been to Wolftrap since 4th grade with my Girl Scout troup.
I need to go take a shower, then I'm going over to Joe's to cheer him up.
Tomorrow I think I'm calling Kevin, and recruiting him to help set up my room. I'm heading to Spencer's to buy some more posters then Ikea to buy a new lamp. Then, I think I'll be finished. I need to be finished by Friday, cause that's when the All Girls sleepover is.
Sorry for the quick entry, I'll post a better one in a couple days when I have a few moments to breathe.
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| Guess who this is for. |
[02 Aug 2005|10:28pm] |
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depressed |
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"You Will. You?Will. You? Will. You? Will."-Bright Eyes |
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You say that I treat you like a book on a shelf.
I don't take you out that often 'cause I know that I've completed you, and that's why you are here.
That's the reason you stay here. How awful that must feel.
You said you would be my dream, I could have you every night and if by morning, I'd forgotten you, well, no big deal, it would be all right because
you are the reoccurring kind. You are the reoccurring kind.
You never really leave my mind.
Are you the love of my lifetime? Because there's been times I've had my doubts.
We were just kids when I first kissed you in the attic of my parents house,
and I wish we were there now. It took so long to figure out, what this book has been about.
Now I write when I'm away letters that you'll never read. You said go explore those other women, the geography of their bodies but there's just one map you'll need. You are a boomerang, you'll see. You will return to me.
You will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.
You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.
Because if you don't, then this book is all lies. If you don't, then my plans will all be ruined.
If you don't, I'll start drinking like the way I drank before.
And I just won't have a future anymore.
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[01 Aug 2005|01:21am] |
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"Against All Odds"-The Postal Service |
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Listen, I have a lot of secrets.
And I've been messing up a lot lately. Acting out, being angry. I don't know why.
I've screwed over a lot of friends, some on purpose, others accidental. I'm attempting to find the root of my problem but I can hardly sit still long enough to actually begin the thought process. It seems whenever I'm home alone, bad memories and emotions crop up and I can't deal with them. The past week I've been having horrible nightmares, Elle for a few nights had to sleep with me in a hotel bed and she commented that I'd begin screaming and thrashing and crying. Four days in a row I woke up with tears streaming down my face. I never remember what the dreams are though, just that I'm heartbroken and devastated and I can hardly breathe.
I haven't been talking to many people, it seems whenever I open my mouth I offend someone. But I'm lonely. I seek physical companionship but then I feel empty, because I want love but not in the physical form. Someone has changed from a sweet and kind lover to a bitter and resentful cynic and it hurts me. I miss the old mask but I don't think it will return if I continue my current behavior.
I know there will always be one person who will love me, but not in the "we're on the same level, we're partners" kind of love. It's nice to always have a fall back but once you've tasted what love is supposed to be like, there's no going back.
This entry is so gooey and open and it's making me feel vulnerable.
I like it.
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[31 Jul 2005|10:41am] |
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melancholy |
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"Daughters"-John Mayer |
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Erm, I made a big mistake last night, and I'd like to apologize firstly to my stalker who's gonna read this, and secondly to Brandon. Cause hanging up on people is mean.
So I'm sorry, very sorry.
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[20 Jul 2005|04:02pm] |
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grumpy |
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Crap on MTV that's blaring from upstairs |
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Ahh. I have faithfully slogged through all the crap that is the communities I belong to and commented on all my friends entries.
Livejournal really doesn't appeal to me anymore. At least not in the talking about emotions share how you feel kinda of way. I mean I COULD talk about my boy problems but I have a slight feeling it wouldn't be very well received and those problems are managable.
One of my favorite people in one of my communities is leaving, and it made me really sad. He imparted a lot of wisdom, and gave a lot of advice that I know I could not have received from anyone else. He's a horrible bastard with a nasty temper but I liked him a lot.
Okay, I'll be honest. My Sister is a filty faker. She fell off her horse Belle today and she's whining about a fractured hipbone and how hard she fell and I'm just staring her straight in the face. All this week she's been complaining about falling off and being stepped on and I went through all that, it's not that bad. Falling off a horse while jumping at a canter does sting the brain cells and bruises the body, but come on, your body being covered in bruises is SO AWESOME why would you want to complain about it? Then she was yammering about how she had to ride bareback and she fell off. At least she didn't fall into a FREAKING LAKE. Oh it was winter too. Quite chilly. Yeah my underwear was stuck to my bum for about a week on that one. Blargh I just don't like how my Sister complains about every tiny injury like it's a huge party foul from god. She gets a cold sore and she won't shut up for two weeks.
But I guess she can be a good kid when she wants to.
Adios.
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| Traveling adieu! |
[16 Jul 2005|09:03pm] |
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 nostalgic |
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"Sugar on my tongue"-Talking Heads |
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I'm in Massachusetts right now. And next week I'll be in Santa Fe. I'll also be going to Mexico, which should be interesting. (the Juarez region)
I miss Hernandez though. Walking around the town at 2am, hyped up on Red Bull and setting off fireworks. Going over to Emily's house, watching movies on questionable topics. And playing video games with Jay and eating all of his pudding. Oh oh and visiting my favorite curly black haired kid.
My phone is all messed up, people keep calling me and leaving messages but I can't listen to them. My Mom is gonna call Verizon and see if they can fix it.
It is so very hot up here. But I'll drive a Go-Kart tomorrow. There are three cats in this room. Binxy, Inky, and Melody. Melody is a total bitch, but Inky and Binx are great. Inky is black and furry.
Uhh dial up sucks.
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[11 Jul 2005|06:43pm] |
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"Let's not Shit Ourselves"-Bright Eyes |
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Sometimes I simply cannot believe how easy it is to find people's journals on MySpace. It's like a whole neighborhood with all the doors and windows open.
In other words, my poison ivy is still horribly itchy but a lot of the swelling has reduced. My ear no longer looks like a pufferfish.
I'm going to this free karate session tonight, eight to nine. I'm attending this shindig with the soeur. Elle has recently become a much cooler person. I'd say her loser percent has declined from 98% to 42%. That's quite an improvement. I'd like to thank myself.
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[25 Jun 2005|07:20pm] |
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melancholy |
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"Andy you're a star"-The Killers |
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I had this hella freaky dream last night. It would have continued but my friend Sean called me at 7:35 and wanted company as he manned his family's yard sale...
I was in this aquarium and I was in this Chinese boat with some other person and I was rowing and I could see all the fish glowing underneath the water, there were jellyfish and black fish with glowing green eyes and huge whales slowing swimming beneath the boat. My rows were huge claws, I dropped one and I watched as it sank into the black water. I looked up into the sky, the sky was pitch black and littered with stars and constellations. Then the boat flipped over, and I crashed into the water and floated down, to the bottom of the ocean and I looked up. There were sea cucumbers and streams of kelp all moving and glowing purple and green and the water itself was black. The fish were in huge crowds, all swimming in formation and some fish were marked red with black stripes. I swam around and swam up and a huge whale slowly swam towards me, staring at me. His eyes were clouded over but I could see his intelligence. He came within two inches of me, was about to tell me something and then some overhead lights were flipped on, all the water drained out and I heard someone say over the intercom "The aquarium is closed for the evening. Please come back tomorrow"
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